This is stressful

Your boyfriend emails you and asks you to print the 17 doublespaced pages out at work since his computer is on the fritz. This is the piece he's reading Sunday night for the below Telegraph Stories event. You are a little hesitant to do so because you work at a national laboratory and you shouldn't print out personal items, plus the printer is on the floor below you so you have to spring up after you hit appleP and get your butt down there to snatch up each page before another scientist wonkhead sees the pages

each of which have things like

BD

or

SM

or

dominatrix

or

dog collar

or

yoked by her undies

typed across.

And then the printer takes like 20 seconds between each page to come out. And "Printer Maintenance?" flashes between "Processing Data" and you just think

Please god do not make the paper get stuck in here and I will have to call a tech person to come and sort it out and then his beady eyes will fall on the words

spanked with a paddle

and he will look you over crossways and you will think egad why didn't I simply print out the Habitat for Humanity Zero Energy Homes file instead?

But it prints fine and you are safe!


Hear all about every single word on Sunday night!