I would like to eat interesting food, thank you

But my mouth is so weird right now that I've mostly eaten pudding, kefir, peanut butter out of the jar, and yogurt. Yumtown USA.

Four years ago I had to have a root canal on this selfsame recently extracted tooth. In the months leading up to the root canal, I suffered these icepick-like pains that would shoot into my inner ear. It incapacitated me for days at a time, and I thought I had an ear infection the entire time, and even went on antibiotics for my mythical ear infection. During this time I was living with Mr. Physics/The Unfortunate Fiance, who by now had pretty much ceased speaking to me and would flinch if I accidentally touched him. Whenever he left for work I'd take a shower and sit on the floor of the tub and sob, because it was the only way I could really cry without the neighbors hearing me. Soon thereafter he went off his meds and tried to molest my best friend.

It's made me think about how well my body matches physical pain with emotional pain. The same weekend Dan broke up with me the catcher somehow threw a baseball into my jaw at a game when I was up to bat. My mouth bled and I moved my tongue over my teeth to make sure nothing was falling out. Then I got pissed and spit out most of the blood and hit a double to left field. The next night Dan sat down and said, It's not working. Two days later I got on a plane to Norway, by that time the pain in my jaw forgotten.

Anyway, there are more examples but they are so dull and I need to save them for the book proposal. Here is a recipe for something I could probably eat right now even with my extracted, still-bleeding, gap-molared mouth.

Appetizing, eh?



Garlic Mushroom Tapenade

So find two heads of garlic and cover them with olive oil and put them in the oven, preferably in a small cast iron pan.

Saute some crimini mushrooms, quite a few.

When the garlic's done, squeeze it into a food processor, along with kalamata olives and the sauteed mushrooms. Reserve mushroom liquid and put in processor, too. Add high quality balsamic vinegar, pepper, and walnuts if you're into that sort of thing and whir it all together.

Serve on crusty bread or also it's good over pasta.

The end.