dreams of old, old men

Old, old men from my past that is. They aren't chronologically old. But, to realize that I dated Leif 15 years ago (and stopped dating him 12 years ago) is a bit of a head trip.

In my dream Leif and I were in Norway together. He was pregnant with our baby. He lifted up his shirt and I put my hand on his stomach and it was pulsing with this calm sweetness that seemed to be the most powerful tactile experience I've ever had. Then he said to me "We need to get this baby into your belly soon before the sword that I've swallowed pierces it.

And then I remembered, duh, that was so dumb when Leif swallowed that sword. I knew it was going to come back to haunt us.

Then we made out on a Scandinavian-style '60s couch. It was hot. He didn't have his belly anymore.

In my dream, as Leif had done in life, he made me feel perfectly accepted and fine with who I was. I misunderstood something he'd said at one point and he smiled and didn't make me feel silly or daft.

So dumb. But at least no dreams of Dan.