Dude.

Soon he will be descending on the West Coast. To take me to loud rock shows and make me drink cheap beer and engage in too long conversations about the nature of morality and the need for an awesome girlfriend.



My phone rang as I was walking up to the lab this morning.

It was Bryce.

"What do you want?"

"Dude, I'm listening to 'Jungle Love' by the Time and I'm thinking it's the best fucking song ever!" Bryce yelled at me.

"Uh huh." Sometimes Bryce sounds like he's on a speeded up beer buzzed high even at 9 on a Wednesday morning. "Look," I continued, "I told Peter about your plans for debauchery when you come out here in May and he wants in. And then I asked if you and Mike can stay at his house so you won't puke all over my house."

"I don't puke," Bryce insisted. "Anymore."

"I don't want puke in my house," I said. "And I don't know I want Peter playing with you two. You're bad news."

"Look," said Bryce, "Send me Peter's email and I'll tell both of you a story and then you can decide whether or not you guys want to hang out with us."


"Does this story involve prostitutes?"

"No! We don't pay for sex!"

"Does it involve you waking up next to 50-year-old women?"


"I didn't wake up with her. I just kissed her," insisted Bryce. "It was my other friend P*** who got a blowjob from her and she threw up on his penis."

"That's charming."


~~~~~~~

Bryce is a hella good friend of mine from back in the MPLS. You wanna know how Minnesota gay he is? Check out this tattoo:



At one point not so long ago, Bryce was in seminary to study to be a Lutheran minister. I kid you not.

He cries sometimes on the phone because he loves his social work kid cases so much and they're so fucked up.

That still doesn't make it okay for him to get so stinking drunk all the time. Oh boy. Peter will love him.

And now, just because you love him, here's a Morris Day clip that supposedly features "Jungle Love" somewhere in there. Or you could just enjoy the opening slow jam. Hot.

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